1
、周而复始

老王在树下休息，老李走过来对他说：“嗨 ，为什么不去上山砍柴？
” 老王说：“砍柴干什么？” 老李说：“好卖钱啊。卖到钱就可以买驴
，再沿家挨户卖柴 。挣了钱就再 买卡车，然后买木厂卖木 器 ，再买更多的卡车
，那样就可以发大财了
。 ” 老王问：“发了财干什么？
” 老李答：“发了财就可 以逍遥自在地享清福嘛。” 老王说：“那你以为我现在在干什么？ ”

1, round and round

Lao wang rested under the tree, Lao li came up and said, "hey, why not go up the hill cutting wood?" Pharaoh said: "cut wood stem what?" Lao li said: "good money! Sold into money can buy a donkey, then along home door-to-door selling wood. Zheng money will buy trucks, and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware, buy more trucks, so that you can be really rich." The old king: "fortune"? Lao li answer: "fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well." Pharaoh said, "that you think I doing now?"

2、甲鱼风波

甲鱼又叫团鱼或鳖，俗称王八 。味鲜美 ，价昂贵
。“吃的不买
，买的不吃
”， 实乃高级礼品 ，公关丑 星。 某乡派数人携众鳖入城进贡 。因其重量不同
，又须按“职”分配，为免差错计 ，故将官 号写于纸上，贴于鳖背
。 ……至机关干部住宅楼前
，天已晚。不料竹篓倾覆，众甲鱼乘暮色争相逃命 ，乡人一片 惊呼：“赵局长 ”跑啦!——那个块头最大的 。 快抓住“钱处长
”——小心它咬手
。 那墙角里黑乎乎的
，莫非是“孙科长”?“李秘书 ”个头小，爬得快 ，怕是找不到了。

2, turtle storm

Turtle and call TuanYu or turtle, commonly known as the tortoise. Taste delicious, the price is expensive. "Eat not to buy, buy the do not eat", solid senior gifts, pr ugly stars. MouXiang sent several people join the turtle into town tribute. Because of its different weights, and must according to "responsibility" distribution, in order to avoid mistakes plan, therefore, JiangGuan written in paper, stick at turtle's back. ... To government cadres residential against the building, it is late. Behold, all the turtle piggy overthrown by the dusk scramble to flee for life, XiangRen a exclaimed, "zhao chief" run! The bigger the biggest. - Catch "money director" - be careful it bites the hand. The corner of the mariposa rushed, murphy is "Samson section chief"? "Secretary li"'s smaller, climb quickly, afraid that I can't find it.

3 、迟了

在地铁里
，一位男子发现扒手正在掏他的钱包，便幽默地说： “老兄 ，你来晚了！我今天虽然领 了薪水
，但我太太下手比你快 多了！
”

3, late

In the subway, a man found pickpocket is cutting his wallet, and humorously said: "man, you came to night! I today although took salary, but my wife lay more quickly than you!"

4
、情书

小伙子在给女朋友的信中写到：“爱你爱得如此之深， 以至愿为你赴汤蹈火 。星期六如不下雨 ，我一定来。

4, love letter

Guy in the letters to his girlfriend wrote: "love your love so much, that would like to give you go through hell. On Saturday as it does not rain, I'll come.

5、无理抱怨

两个人一起吃饭
，只有两条鱼，一大一小
。一位先把大 的吃了 ，另一位勃然大怒。”多不合适！ ”他抱怨说 。”怎 么了？
”另一位问
。”你吃掉了那条大的，如果我是你就不 会这样做。 ”
”你会怎 样呢？” ”我当然是先吃小的 。
”” 那好哇
，你抱怨什么，那条小鱼不是还在那里吗！ ”

5 and irrational complain

Two people eat together, only two fish, a great and a small. A first big eat, another flew into a rage. "Not more suitable!" He complains. "How yao?" Another asked. "You ate that big, if I were you, I would not do so." "How would you like?" "Of course I is first eat small." "That good, you complained, the fish is still there!"

6 、为您保密

甲：
”这件事我只告诉你一人 ，请你千万为我保密
。" 乙：”放心
，不但我要为你保密，我还要告诉大家都来为你保密。 ”

6, for your confidential

A: "this matter I just tell you one person, you must the secret for me." B: "trust, not only I want secret for you, I will tell everybody to be secret for you."

7
、擦玻璃

父亲走进儿子的房间 ，夸奖道：干得好
，儿子！窗户又干净又明亮，你是用肥皂水擦的吗？ 儿子：没有 ，爸爸
，我用的是锤子 。

7, wipe glass

Father entered the son's room, praise, way: well done, son! The window and clean and bright, you are using soap water wipe? Son: no, dad, I am using a sledgehammer.

8、开学

小学开学了，刚满6岁的冬冬不肯到学校上学
。妈妈向冬冬解释 ，小朋友满6岁就要去上学
，一直到15岁。最后冬冬终于在书桌前坐下来，满含热泪地问：等我15岁的时候 ，您会记得来接我吗？

8, opening

Elementary school begins, just over 6 years old of winter winter will not come to school. Mother to dongdong explanation, children with 6 years old shall go to school, until 15 years old. Last winter winter finally before desk sat down and full of tears to ask: when I was 15, you will remember pick me up?

英语幽默笑话带翻译200字

笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用 。下面我为大家带来
，欢迎大家阅读!

地道英语幽默笑话1：

The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed,

一个非常吝啬的守财奴终于去牙科看牙齿
。

"Well, sir," said the dentist,

“先生，
”牙医说道 ，

"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all have to e out.”

“恐怕你拖得太久了
，这些牙齿都要拔掉才行。

"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

“那得花多少钱?，’小气鬼问医生 。

"A thousand dollars. "

“一千块美金。 ”

Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""

“这里是一百块 ，”吝啬鬼说
。“只要稍微把它们松动一点就好

地道英语幽默笑话2：

A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELE"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal
，so he orders，"OK ，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆
，在餐馆的窗户上写着:“ *** 人不许入内
”的字样。过了几天，一个特征鲜明的 *** 人走进餐馆想要一个三明治 。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办
。餐馆老板不想惹事生非 ，于是就说
，“好吧，卖他一个三明治 ，但是要收他两倍钱，这样就能给他一个教训了。”

But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple
，he’11 get the lesson this time! ” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do e，charge them tenfold!
” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without plaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELE."

但是第二天 ，那个 *** 人又来了
，这回他要了一整套午餐 。老板决定收他三倍的钱，这样他就知道厉害了!那个 *** 人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱 ，还称赞食物非常好吃
，甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐
。老板想了想说:“没问题，就让他预定 ，但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上
，那些 *** 人真的来了，点了好多菜 ，毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱
，而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天，老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内 ” 。

地道英语幽默笑话3：

And You Think You've Got Problems

你认为你有问题吗?

"Boy, have I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.

“乖乖 ，我真的有毛病了!
”一位老兄对精神病医生说道
。

"Go ahead and tell me about them "

“继续说，告诉我你的问题。”

"Well, to start with, I've got an estate in the country,three Mercedes and a luxury yacht. ."

“喔
，是这样的，我在乡下有房地产 ，另外还有三辆宾士和一艘豪华游艇 。 ”

"So, what's the problem?"

"那问题在哪里呢?"

"I only make $ 100 a week!"

“我一星期只赚一百块美金!
”

以上就是我为大家带来的
，希望大家喜欢! ?

英语幽默笑话带翻译

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to thehospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "Ithink that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."saidthe doctor,

Hearing this, theman moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive.""Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better thanyou!"

医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

2:You can't go without me

The bus is verycrowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.

"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says tohim.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

没有我你们走不了

公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.

"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.

"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At thisage, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always askingquestions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there arestanding two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I amdrunk."

"But,dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家
。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄 ，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸
，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子 ， ”父亲回答说
，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察 。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。
” “可是 ，爸爸
， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！ ”

4:Hospitality

The hostessapologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyesthan your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In therat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时 ，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意
。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿
，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里 。客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子 ，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好
。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上
，先生。
”那小男孩说 。

5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I wasblack.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold,I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.

When I'm sick, I'mblack.When I die, I'm still black.you---white people,When you were born, youwere pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You'reblue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green whenyou're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?

亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道
。当我出生时 ，我是黑色的我长大了
，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时 ，我是黑色的我害怕时
，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了 ，我仍是黑色的。你---白种人
，当你出生时，你是粉红色的 。你长大了 ，变成白色的
。你在阳光下，你是红色的。你寒冷时
，你是青色的 。你害怕时，你是**的
。你生病时 ，你是绿色的。当你死时
，你是灰色的 。而你，却叫我「有色人种」？

6：Where is the father?

Two brothers werelooking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look,"said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes,"said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother andthe children. Where is the father?"

The elder brotherthought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting thepictures."

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看 ，”哥哥说
，“这些画多漂亮呀！ ”

“是啊，
”弟弟说道 ，“可是在所有这些画中
，只有妈妈和孩子
。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显 ，他当时正在画这些画呗。 ”

7：How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave youfive rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?

Jonathan: Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.

多少只兔子？

老师：好
，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子 ，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

乔纳森：一共有九只
，先生 。

老师：九只？

乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只
。

8：These Are My Jeans

After going on adiet ，a woman felt really good aboutherself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she hadoutgrown long ago．

“Look
，look．
” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”

Her husband lookedat her for a long time，when said ，“Honey
，I love you，butthese are my jeans． ”

那是我的裤子!

一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看 ，快看 。我又能穿上以前的裤子了
。
”她丈夫看了她好一会儿
，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子 。”

9：Themean man's party

The notoriouscheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to findhis apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with yourelbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use myelbow and foot?"

"Well,gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, areyou?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了
。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼 ，找中间那个门
，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开 。 ”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？
”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊
。天哪 ，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

10：AllI do is pay

"My family isjust like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is theminister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughteris foreign secretary."

"Soundsinteresting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?"

"I'm thepeople. All I do is pay."

我要做的一切就是付钱

布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样 。我妻子

是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书
。 ”

“听上去挺有意思的
，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？
”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱 。”